FLACK BRIDAY
MAYHEM!!!

SAVE UP TO 99.9%
(or whatever we feel like)*

GRAB THE DEALS NOW!!!

*Terms, conditions, and sanity not included

ABOUT THE MADNESS

FLACK BRIDAY was born from the beautiful chaos of retail warfare. We're proud purveyors of panic-induced purchasing since whenever we made this up!

Our mission? To create the most RIDICULOUS shopping experience possible while making you question your life choices!

OUR VALUES:

  • âœĻ Maximum Chaos
  • 🛍ïļ Questionable Deals
  • ðŸ˜ą Perpetual FOMO
  • 🏃‍♂ïļ Sprint Shopping

CERTIFIED CHAOS EXPERTS:

🎊 Chief Mayhem Officer

🎭 Director of Dramatic Discounts

🌊ïļ Head of Hysteria

ðŸŽĒ Supervisor of Shopping Sprints

*Any resemblance to actual retail practices is purely coincidental and hilarious.

DON'T THINK! JUST BUY!

JOIN THE SHOPPING APOCALYPSE NOW!
(Your wallet won't thank you, but who cares?!)

EMBRACE THE MADNESS!!!

⮆ïļ CLICK NOW BEFORE SANITY RETURNS! ⮆ïļ

*Side effects may include empty bank accounts, buyer's remorse, and uncontrollable laughter

OUR CHAOTIC SERVICES!!!

🏃‍♂ïļ

SPRINT SHOPPING

Race against other shoppers! First one to grab the item wins! Physical contact highly probable!

TRAIN NOW!
🎰

MYSTERY PRICING

Prices change every microsecond! What you see is NOT what you get! Excitement guaranteed!

TAKE CHANCE!
🌊ïļ

CHAOS CONSULTING

Learn how to shop in complete pandemonium! Professional panic buyers available 24/7!

EMBRACE CHAOS!

*No refunds, no regrets, no responsibility!

LAST CHANCE TO LOSE YOUR MIND!!!

JOIN THE SHOPPING CIRCUS NOW AND GET:

  • 🎊 VIP Access to Maximum Mayhem!
  • ðŸ’ļ Extra Questionable Discounts!
  • 🏃‍♂ïļ Professional Sprint Shopping Training!
  • 🌊ïļ Certified Chaos Consultant Support!
SURRENDER YOUR SANITY NOW!!!

*Warning: May cause extreme shopping euphoria and temporary loss of financial judgment

SATISFIED VICTIMS

ðŸ˜ĩ

"Lost my entire savings in 3.5 minutes! Best shopping experience EVER! Would do it again if I had any money left!!!"

Karen Shopzilla

Professional Panic Buyer

🏃‍♂ïļ

"Won three cart races, knocked over five displays, and got banned from two stores. 10/10 would chaos again!"

Mike Rushmore

Sprint Shopping Champion

🎊

"I don't even remember what I bought! The chaos was AMAZING! My credit card is still smoking!"

Sarah Spendington

Chaos Enthusiast

*All testimonials are genuine expressions of shopping madness

FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!

ðŸšĻ EMERGENCY SHOPPING ALERT! ðŸšĻ

Your sanity expires in: 00:00:00

PANIC BUY NOW!!!

*Warning: Your wallet may spontaneously combust

CHAOTIC FAQs!!!

Brace yourself for the most OUTRAGEOUS answers to your burning Flack Briday questions!

Absolutely maybe! We're as real as your shopping-induced anxiety!

*All answers guaranteed to be as helpful as a chocolate teapot!

SHOPPING MADNESS BLOG!!!

Shopping Chaos

NOV 24, 2023

TOP 10 SHOPPING BATTLE TACTICS!!!

Master the art of cart jousting and aisle sprinting with our certified chaos experts!

READ MORE!!!
Shopping Frenzy

NOV 23, 2023

CONFESSIONS OF A DEAL HUNTER!

One shopper's descent into bargain-induced madness - a cautionary tale!

READ MORE!!!
Empty Wallet

NOV 22, 2023

WHY BUDGETS ARE FOR LOSERS!!!

Embrace financial chaos! Your credit score is just a number anyway!

READ MORE!!!

*Warning: Reading these posts may result in uncontrollable shopping urges!

UNLEASH THE CHAOS!!!

ðŸšĻ JOIN THE SHOPPING APOCALYPSE NOW! ðŸšĻ

Get EXCLUSIVE access to: 🏃‍♂ïļ Sprint Shopping Tips
ðŸ’ļ Mystery Deals
🌊ïļ Chaos Updates

*Side effects may include empty wallet syndrome and uncontrollable shopping urges

CHAOS COMMANDERS!!!

CEO

Maxwell Mayhem

Chief Chaos Officer

"Professional panic inducer with 15 years of retail warfare experience!"

Marketing

Luna Frenzy

Director of Mayhem Marketing

"Turning shopping anxiety into pure entertainment since 2010!"

Operations

Rex Rampage

Head of Hysteria Operations

"Making sure your shopping experience is perfectly chaotic!"

Customer Service

Pandora Panic

Chaos Customer Relations

"Specializing in post-shopping therapy and wallet CPR!"

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